Support Resources

PODCAST EPISODES:

Healing the Invisible Scars: Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Neglect Emotional Neglect (Hello Therapy Podcast)
A trauma therapist explores what emotional neglect is, how it shows up in adulthood, and actionable steps toward healing.

Emotional Neglect – Trauma Rewired Episode
Dive into the under-the-radar impacts of emotional neglect, how it impacts the nervous system, and strategies for healing

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. When I shared or hinted at what I endured, and my parent(s) dismissed or denied it, what felt most painful? Was it being unheard, invalidated, or something else?
2. What is one truth about my childhood that I can acknowledge to myself, regardless of whether my parents ever validate it?
3. If the parental relationship remains unavailable or invalidating, what loving response can I give myself?

READING:

Toxic Workplaces and the Cult Survivor 

Why Do Victims Go Back to Their Abusers? 

PODCAST EPISODES:

Betrayal Trauma Recovery

VIDEOS:

Trauma Bonding Explained – Crappy Childhood Fairy

Trauma Bonding and Self Blame in Narcissistic Relationships – Dr. Ramani 

 JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. How do my values align or clash with the situation I keep returning to?
2. What boundaries did I try to set in the past, and how were they received?
3. What support systems could help me hold steady if I choose not to go back?

VIDEOS:

Dissociation, depersonalization, and derealization:

Dr. Peter Levine on healing after trauma

What only Trauma Survivors can relate to

 JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. What physical sensations (temperature, pressure, tingling, tension, softness, etc.) do I notice in my body right now? (No need to “fix” anything — just observe.)
2. When I dissociate or numb out, what kinds of thoughts, images, or feelings usually precede it? (What are the warning signs?)
3. What strengths or qualities do I carry in me (groundedness, curiosity, resilience)? How could I invite those strengths to “be present” now so i remember that I dont have to check out to feel safe?
4. What situations or tones of voice tend to make me disconnect? What do I wish others understood about what happens inside me?
5. When I start to come back after feeling disconnected, what do I most need — warmth, quiet, light movement, gentle contact, reassurance?

VIDEOS:

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler about the three phases of healing from emotional abuse

Dr. John Deloney shows where he interviews someone who was mentally and emotionally abusive to get insights about what drives a person to do that so that you can truly remember not to blame yourself for it.

TED Talk about how to overcome the trauma of bullying and harassment

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. Describe a moment you felt frightened and intimidated – what thoughts raced through your mind? And did you picture yourself at your current age and environment, or did you picture yourself at a younger age and in a previous environment?
2. List five ways your nervous system responds, i.e. heart racing, breaking into a sweat, whatever you feel. Then think about what you can say or do to calm or comfort your activated psyche and body.
3. Write the dialogue you wish you had heard in previous moments when you experienced fear, i.e. if someone had stepped in, stepped up, validated you or protected you. Now imagine saying them to yourself and also think about who you have in your life now as an adult who you can rely on to step in, step up, validate you or project you.

VIDEOS:

The Art of Being Yourself – Caroline McHugh

The Healing Power of Art and Art Therapy – TRT World

VIDEOS:

Healing trauma in the body

The fear of abandonment

How being betrayed changes you

PODCASTS:

Understanding Emotions – Moral Injury – NHS Practitioner Health Wellbeing Podcast 

Childhood Betrayal Trauma – Adult Children in Recovery podcast

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. Describe a relationship that feels broken or distant. What’s one honest message you wish you could send them?
2. Recall a moment when you stayed silent instead of speaking up—why? How might you approach a similar situation now?
3. Trace a wound you still carry from childhood betrayal. How does it show up now? What would healing look like?

VIDEOS:

How to Channel Your Anger, Even When It’s Justified – YurView

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. How My Anger Reveals My Values – What core principle (loyalty, fairness, dignity, truth, respect) is illuminated by the intensity of your anger?
2. Anger as a Witness – If your anger could testify on your behalf, what truth would it insist on telling?

ARTICLES: 

5 tips to squash your inner critical voice:  The Toxic Effects of Negative Self-Talk

Stop being so mean to yourself. Here are 5 tips to help you break the cycle

VIDEOS:

1. Reframing Rest: If rest and care were seen as a sign of strength instead of weakness, how might I treat myself differently today?
2. Permission Statement: Write a compassionate letter to yourself giving permission to rest, care for yourself, or heal. What do you most need to hear?
3. Celebrating Resilience: Recall a time when taking care of yourself allowed you to come back stronger. What lesson can you carry forward?

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. What boundaries do I need in order to protect my mental/emotional safety during family discussions? How do I want to feel after the conversation is over?
2. Write a compassionate but firm letter (even if unsent) explaining your communication needs.
3. What words, behaviors, or concepts do my family use that feel misaligned with my current values pr behaviors, and why do they trigger me?
4. What limits do I want to start setting in terms of topics, tone, or time spent in difficult discussions?

VIDEOS:

Brene Brown – The Call to Courage on Netflix 

Transforming Pain into Power: Healing Betrayal Trauma

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. What does “assuming the best” mean to you? How is it different from being naïve?
2. What beliefs about people came from your early life experiences? Which serve you and which don’t?
3. What would it feel like to assume good intentions and pay attention to red flags — without self-blame?

PODCASTS:

How to know when it’s safe to trust somebody – Sadie Robertson

VIDEOS:

The Essential Skill to Regulate Your Nervous System – Relaxed Vigilance vs. Hypervigilance – Therapy in a Nutshell

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. Talk about a time when you found that you did trust someone. What did they do, or what did they not do, that reinforced that sense of trust in them?
2. When someone broke your trust, were there warning signs that they might do that? And if in retrospect there were some warning signs, what were they? And what do you think caused you to not notice them consciously or feel like you could not act on them?
3. If you had 5 extra minutes (or a day) before making that decision, what would you have done differently?
4. What is your “default” when you feel rushed: do you go ahead, hesitate, avoid, say yes when you mean no? Map your pattern.
5. Create a “nervous-system first-aid kit” for yourself. What items, tools, phrases, people, environments will you keep handy when you “flip into fight/flight/freeze”?
6. Imagine a “safe zone” in your mind: where are you, what’s around you, how does your nervous system respond? Spend 2 minutes writing this scene in vivid detail.

VIDEOS:

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable – Luvvie Ajayi Jones

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. Imagine other people noticing what you’re doing without judgment- what would you want to say or show them you could do?
2. What is the cost of being “the one who speaks up”? And what is the gift?
3. When you imagine working toward a cause in a sustainable way, what does “sustainable” look like to you?

VIDEOS:

Rewiring the Anxious Brain: Neuroplasticity and the Anxiety Cycle: Anxiety Skills – Therapy In a Nutshell 

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

The 5-4-3-2-1 Method: A Grounding Exercise to Manage Anxiety – The Partnership In Education 

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. Overriding vs. listening: When do I push through discomfort instead of pausing? What does that cost me?
2. List 10 things that calm you (warm shower, music, petting a dog, walking, tea, humming, stretching).
3. When I’m feeling balanced, calmer and more regulated, how do I think/act differently than when I’m feeling overwhelmed and flooded, or numb?

VIDEOS:

How To Spot Gaslighting – Dr Julie

Intimate vs Tribal Gaslighting: Differences & How to Spot Them – MedCircle

 JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. When I’m calm and not being challenged, what concerns about myself still feel true—and which ones fade away?
2. What criticisms about me came primarily from one person or group?2a: How did they benefit from me believing those things? What parts of myself were labeled as “too much,” “wrong,” or “problematic” only after I began asserting needs or boundaries?
3. If I imagine explaining this “flaw” to someone who truly knows me and cares about me, what would they say back?

VIDEOS:

How To Be Assertive Without Being Aggressive – Esther Perel

Being Blunt VS Direct Honesty – Dan Munro Coach

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. How did directness or confrontation keep me safe in my old environment?
2. What does “soft” communication mean to me — and what false beliefs do I have about softness (weakness, submission, loss of control)?
3. Write a script for saying nokindly but firmly, without over-explaining.
4. Describe someone you know who has warmth and boundaries at the same time. What specifically do they dodifferently?

VIDEOS:

IndoctriNation – 8 Behaviors of the Traumatizing Narcissist w/Dan Shaw, LCSW

IndoctriNation – The Language Of Control w/Sue Winter

How A Narcissist’s Blame Shifting Strategy Blows Up – Surviving Narcissism

If Your Date Flies This Red Flag, RUN! | Dr. Ramani Durvasula

 JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. When you tried to explain yourself, how were you labeled? (Defensive? Angry? Abusive?) What did that labeling do to your voice over time?
2. How did the leader/group benefit from you believing you were flawed or misguided? What power did that give them?
3. Divide a page into three columns: What actually happened? What I was told it meant about me? What is a more balanced/realistic interpretation now?
4. What phrases from the cult still echo in your head when something goes wrong? Whose voice is that really?

PODCASTS:

Childhood Trauma and Adult Shame
Healing from Childhood Abuse in order to Perform Well as an Adult.

 VIDEOS:

Re-Regulating your Nervous System after CPTSD with Crappy Childhood Fairy Anna Runkle

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. Write about the earliest time you remember feeling embarrassed, humiliated, or criticized in front of others. What message did you absorb about yourself in that moment?
2. When you imagine performing, speaking, or being evaluated, what does your inner critic say? Whose voice does it resemble?
3. Sometimes success increases visibility. Do you notice ways you hold yourself back to avoid shame?

VIDEOS:

Why Someone Hates You for No Reason (Displaced Hatred) – Healthy Gamer GG

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. What is the original wound underneath this anger and resentment? And who do I wish I could be directing it towards?
2. How else can I express my anger or resentment so that I reclaim power over myself rather than giving it away?

VIDEOS:

The confusion between someone BEING CONTROLLING vs. CARING for you – Dr. Ramani

How Narcissists Control the people Around Them – Darren F. Magee

Traumatic Narcissism and Cult Dynamics With Dan Shaw – Lisa Danylchuk

Three Tactics Narcissists Use to Isolate Their Victims – Michele Lee Nieves Coaching

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. List the ways you were encouraged (explicitly or implicitly) to prioritize one person/mission above all else.
2. What beliefs did the controlling person/organization instill to keep you compliant?
3. Imagine a life where your choices and connections come from you — write about one day in that life.

VIDEOS:

Dare to Rewire Your Brain for Self-Compassion | Weiyang Xie

Cognitive Restructuring in CBT – Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. What story am I telling myself about this event? What are three other possible explanations?
2. Notice what you say to yourself, and see if you can find a more constructive and practically helpful way of looking at things. For example, instead of saying “I failed,” try: “I learned where my limits are, and what I still need to practice/learn.”

VIDEOS:

Betrayal Trauma – Jennifer Freyd

Why Making Friends as an Adult Feels Impossible & What to Do About It

Why Traumatized People Struggle With Friendships (and How You Can Heal) – Crappy Childhood Fairy

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. Evidence vs. Imagination – What specific behaviors make me feel someone is trustworthy or untrustworthy, and which of those come from real evidence vs. old fears
2. Safe vs. Familiar -Does my nervous system confuse familiar dynamics with safe ones? How do I tell the difference today?
3. My Safety Signals – What are three physical or emotional sensations I get when I feel safe with someone? How do those differ from what I feel when unsafe?
4. The Fear of Messing Up – What do I imagine will happen if I reach out incorrectly, text at the wrong time, say too much, say too little, etc.?
5. Friendship Without Performance – What does a friendship look like where I don’t have to perform, impress, educate, heal, or prove anything?
6. Qualities I Offer – What qualities might make me a good friend now, even if I didn’t get to practice friendship in mainstream ways earlier in life?
7. Finding My People vs. Fitting In – How would my approach to friendships change if the goal wasn’t to fit in but to find who fits with me?

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. When have I seen someone earn trust slowly over time?
2. What specific behaviors did they show repeatedly?
3. What are the differences between someone asking for trust and someone earning it?
4. What does it feel like in my body when I feel safe with someone?
5. How is that different from when I feel pressured to trust?

VIDEOS:

The Power of Vulnerability | Brené Brown

How to Shape Your Identity & Goals | Dr. Maya Shankar

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. The Fear Beneath “I Don’t Matter Anymore” – Is it about visibility, connection, purpose, security? Identify the root fear and what soothes it.
2. The Identity I Carried There vs. Who I Am Without It – Describe the image others had of you, and then write who you are becoming now that you’re no longer performing that identity.
3. The Gifts I Carry That No Institution or Person Can Take Away – List qualities or competencies that remain yours regardless of circumstance.

VIDEOS:

Cognitive Dissonance: Emotion Processing – Therapy in a Nutshell

How Cognitive Dissonance Causes Trauma to Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse – Michele Lee Nieves Coaching:

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. What two conflicting beliefs feel hardest for me to hold at the same time right now?
2. What did I need to believe in order to stay, comply, or survive at the time?
3. How might my nervous system confuse familiarity with safety when dissonance appears?
4. How do I know the difference between genuine ambiguity and learned self-doubt?

VIDEOS:

Recognizing DARVO: Protecting Yourself From Emotional Abuse – The MEND Project

How to Handle the DARVO Method – Darren F. Magee

DARVO: Why abusers think they are the victims – Psychology with Dr. Ana

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. How have I experienced DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) in my life? Describe one situation in detail.
2. What internal dialogue helps me stay grounded when DARVO is happening?
3. What self-care practices help me regulate my nervous system after a DARVO interaction?

PODCASTS:

IndoctriNation: Reclaiming agency. Insights on spiritual abuse 

VIDEOS:

Overcoming Broken Trust and Spiritual Abuse…reflecting on religious trauma, and how to recover – F. Remy Diederich

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. What spiritual ideas still resonate with me, even after everything that happened?
2. How can spirituality support healing rather than demand perfection?
3. If spirituality were about curiosity instead of certainty, what would I explore?

ARTICLES:

Stages of Child Development 

The Concept of Individuation

Adolescence Identity and Role Confusion

PODCASTS:

Childhood Trauma,Lost identity and RAGE – The Crappy Childhood Fairy podcast

VIDEOS:

How to Build Self Confidence – Cece Olisa TED Talk

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. When I was growing up, what messages did I receive about being “different” or independent?
2. What behaviors were praised? Which were subtly or overtly punished?
3. When I have an opinion, whose voice do I hear judging it?
4. What fears come up when I imagine expressing a different belief?
5. What parts of me did I learn to hide or suppress?
6. Where do I already feel a sense of freedom to be myself?
7. Who in my life allows for difference without punishment?

VIDEOS:

Blame yourself for everything? Here’s why your Brain does that – Therapy In a Nutshell

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. What was I taught about “why bad things happen”? Who benefited from me believing that?
2. How did self-blame give me an illusion of control?
3. What happens in my body when I consider the idea: “Sometimes things just happen”?
4. Write a letter to yourself releasing responsibility for one past event you’ve secretly blamed yourself for.

PODCASTS:

Cults – Their leaders, their methods, their damage

VIDEOS:

It’s All Coercive Control | Christine Cocchiola 

JOURNALING PROMPTS:

1. “If I believe this fear, who gets more power, access, money, labor, loyalty, secrecy, or control over me?”
2. List phrases you were trained to believe (e.g., “You can’t trust yourself,” “No one else will understand,” “You’ll regret it,” “You’re selfish”). For each: What tactic was used here? (isolation, catastrophizing, guilt, shame, confusion)
3. The Power Differential Test:
   * If I believe this fear, who gains power?
   * If I don’t believe this fear, who loses control?
4. Does this fear increase my dependence on one specific person or group?
5. What concrete, observable evidence supports this fear?
6. What evidence contradicts it?
7. Have I ever seen this feared outcome actually happen?